God will punish you, Jelly Roll.
You scared the bejazus out of me.
Well, it ain't smart to live alone, Tom.
You start seeing scary shadows.
Red shadows.
God will fry those savages in hell.
I see them now dragging beasts and their belongs through the valley.
And I think, "What a waste of the Promise Land!"
You see here?
These little flags are us. And all this nothing is them.
Does it make sense to you?
It 's Indian territory.
Back in the olden days of Spanish Conquest, every Friday...
I used to kill off 12 savages in memory of the 12 holy apostles.
Those religious traditions ought to be kept up.
There are hundreds of frightening Christians...
ready and waiting for this land to be opened up...
and willing to pay good prices for it.
Not everybody is as good a Christian as you are, Tom.
Nowadays, you've got to have an excuse for killing Indians.
Like Major Cabot had, when he found out the wells poisoned.
- Oh, yeah! - We know, sure.
Someway, the Major didn't put the poison himself.
But he found a lot of Indian beads gathered around those wells.
If what we need is an excuse, why don't we cook one up for ourselves?
We get undressed like those Pagan savages...
and get rid of some white trash living by himself.
Fast up, Tom. You'd been chewed fat with Major Cabot.
No, I ain't. Why?
You're saying exactly the same of he's being saying.
That 's because him and me are practical people.
- Pioneers the old frontier. - No.
It 's because you both are made up of the same clay.
You both got the evil genius in you.
Good ol' Cabot!
Tell me, you fellows decided yet who you're gonna scalp?
Tucumcaril!
Hey, Frank! Bring the ted a cup of coffee.
How funny!
Look it! Look! Look!
Stop it, man! You are hurting the fleas!
Looked like a rooster dance, didn't it? Like a rooster.
You're smart to grease that barrel, if you want some good advise.
- Fall down the sight too. - Why is that?
Why? 'Cause sooner or later, strangers around here...
get their guns loaded up their...
- You don't want to get scratched. - Thanks.
"Thanks"? Thanks for what?
That 's my name. Joe Thanks.
I'm impressed. I really am.
I know you.
- Do you, now? - Yeah. You're the village idiot.
There's somebody in every town that gives me that kind of welcome.
You wouldn't talk like that if I had a gun on me!
I'm looking for a man...
...who can shoot fast. - How fast?
Well, let 's say, not a man that shoots first...
but if somebody shoots at him, he sure doesn't shoot second.
You sound like a hard fellow to please.
But you might give Duc Foster a try.
Duc, one of these days...
you're gonna have to get up from this table...
and gonna out and see what 's gonna on out there.
Not a thing gonna on there, never will be.
This town is one long Sunday afternoon.
Five.
Me too.
And here.
Pass.
Five dollars.
Pass.
Ten dollars.
Careful, it 's very hot.
Pass.
Last time I saw my missis, she was nine months heavy.
For all I know, I've got a family to take care of by now.
Let me go home, Duc.
I'm waiting for somebody.
Looks like somebody is already here.
You ain't somebody.
Nobody to all.
- Sorry, Duc. - For what? Keep going.
No.
- The pack. - Okay.
Yeah.
Two.
Three.
One.
- Pass. - Same here.
- Ten, just to keep things going. - Ten.
Cover with one hundred.
What happens in this game when the fellow's got 4 cards alike?
What happens is... I'm out.
Same here.
Four aces, all four in the same hand.
I never saw alike in all my born days.
Not even when I cheated.
Give this a try, Duc. Colt Navy, model 86.
All these nice folks are gathered around. They want to see a duel.
What duel?
Well, you know how these things work out here in the West.
Two fellows come out of the saloon...
and stand opposite to each other.
One of them usually got his legs spread apart.
And the folks in the town get scared and go to a save distance.
And somebody starts playing a funeral march...
on the horn, on the background.
And then nothing.
Not a sound. Only the whistling wind from the desert.
Let me tell you the rest.
In a couple of minutes, you're gonna be one of the deadest men that ever lived.
Outside, my time is precious.
I know, I know, you are waiting for somebody.
Hey, come on, come on, everyone! Hey, they're gonna shoot it out!
Duc Foster and the new guy! Come on! Come on!
They're gonna shoot it out, everyone! Let 's go!
When you're ready, Duc.
- Your horse, Duc? - Come and stop acting like a booby.
Mighty pretty animal.
Don't play the clown.
Nobody takes care of you, huh?
- Poor creature was thirsty! - Next shot 's for you.
Hear me?
Sorry, Duc. You shoot when you feel like it, huh?
No, Duc.
Did you like the show? Good. That makes me happy.
If you be so kind, folks, whatever you can afford. Right in the hat.
Seems fair to me.
Anything you wanna give, for the fastest gun on the face of Earth.
- Thanks. - There you go, folks.
See? Even the wind is on our side.
Watch the hat. Watch the hat.
Thanks. Thank you. Thanks.
Remember, folks, you've just seen a risky show.
I mean, that is for Duc Foster.
Whatever you can afford.
I really appreciated it.
Ah, thanks.
Thank you.
Hey, that 's Tucumcaril!
- This is for your collaboration. - That 's the cavalry coach!
Bring these horses and take them to the stables. Give them water.
After they're ready, you can have some fun.
Right, sir.
The Wild West.
Oh, boy!
Forgive the reception, sir.
We've been expecting a group of young ladies...
to work in the brothel house and the boys made a mistake.
The mistake was made when you were elected sheriff.
Don't you see that I'm a Colonel? For your information, young man...
we are on our way to Fort Cristobal.
Major Cabot may at least have sent someone to meet me.
Oh,my darllng,oh,my darllng Oh,my darllng Clementlne
You are lost and gone forever
Hey, Duc, you better pick it up.
Duc, why don't you just go home?
You've been lucky, friend. Now I've got a job to do.
So do I.
Come in.
She was just a child. You hear me? A mere child.
- Who was? - My sister! You raped her!
You never waited! You promised to marry her.
- Help... - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, let me hear you. I want you to scream in front of everybody!
- Help! - You ravished my only little sister!
- The man is a maniac! - You broke her heart!
- He's not a maniac, he's an ass. - Hey, what 's up with you?
The beard. The beard!
- Yeah, that 's the key to it all. - What key?
- The key to the perfect plan. - Hey, you listen.
This ain't none of your business.
Thanks the good idea, Duc, but this ain't none of your business.
- What are you doing? Don't push me. - Come on, like a good boy. Out.
Don't do that!
My balls!
That 's a fascinating hand you got on you.
- I never saw such a deep life line. - It 's not a live line, it 's a scar.
I disarmed a man once by by grabbing his knife blade.
Live line interrupted.
You go from bad to worse, Colonel. Death lines and ambush by Indians.
Don't try to join Major Cabot. You'll never get there alive.
You are a maniac too, aren't you, boy?
A friend of mine's got red whiskers just like yours, Colonel.
Fake, but you could never tell.
We can send him ahead of you with your uniform on.
But don't try to go to the fortress yourself, 'cause you'll get killed.
Lieutenant! Men!
Men! Soldiers! Help!
Keep on washing. I'm just being followed.
Are you a bandit?
Stop!
You don't look the least like those ruffians on the wanted posters.
Do they make look like that on purpose? To frighten the public?
Well...
they're trying to show the evil that there's inside us.
Stop!
- Kiss me. - What?
Papa'll send me back to Washington. I never kissed an outlaw.
When I tell my girlfriends, they'll die of envy.
Kiss me, or I scream!
Sure.
There was a madman in my room! And another, a maniac!
They both wanted to kill me! The both wanted!
Surround the hotel! Find those men!
- There's a man in her bed! - There's a man in her bed?
There's a man in her bed!
- Where? - Right here!
Hey.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, save me.
Just this once, and I swear I'll never do it again.
He's over there!
Get out! Come on, get out of here! Dogs, come on, leave me alone!
Come on, get out of here! My chicken! My poor little chicken!
Come on now! Get out! Leave me alone! Go on!
My poor little chicken! What are you, a priest or a chicken thief?
Oh, you horrible robbers! Go on, get!
Don Felipe, you catholics keep chickens in your church?
My God, we caught the wrong man!
We caught the right chicken farmer.
You chicken thieves! You'll pay for this! God will damn you!
He can't. We're working for Him.
You thieves, you chicken thieves! Oh, my poor chickens!
Come, sons. Let 's go to the river.
- What kind of place is this? - It 's a place of worship. Come on.
All aboard, kids. Keep going. Come on.
They're all beautiful girls, as you can see.
- Where are you going, friend? - I'm going over there to see her.
You just wait here and behave yourself, huh?
Hey, Mike. How you doin'?
- Get a move on. - Hey.
Don't miss your connection.
- Two hundred. - You wanna take a better look?
It 's solid silver and blessed by a priest.
They used to cut the hands of church robbers.
Two hundred is my offer. Bag included.
Carrousel off to paradise right now.
It isn't a better way to spend your money.
Come on, you faggots!
Are you for a change trying to screw me, Madam?
Lucy?
The offer stays at two hundred.
Take it or leave it.
Lucy!
Lucy, come back!
It 's an order!
On board, gents! The girls are ready and waiting.
Howdy, Steam Engine. I've been looking for you.
Now that you found me, it 's buddies forever and I'll see you around.
Come on, let 's empty the hall.
Come on.
Now, wait, Bill. I haven't seen him for ages.
- We haven't hardly said hello. - You call that say hello?
One more time around, and you'll be expected.
- What 's wrong with that? - Don't tease him, Lucy.
- He gets jealous. - Jealous?
I've got more things on my mind. I pulled her out of the gutter.
She was a free ride. I washed her, ironed her, and combed her hair.
I made a lady out of her. I surrounded her with luxury.
I catered to her every whim.
She cost me an eye and an ear.
But I already told you, if you want her, name your price.
I can't do it.
- She's priceless. - Name your price, Joe.
Please... name your price.
Don't be surprised, brothers...
and, above all, do not jump to the wrong conclusions.
I'm here to perform an act of justice.
There he is. That 's him.
- "Thou art the man." - Now you are an informer, huh?
You've been touched by the grace of God.
Isn't that so, my son?
- Admit it, you've been touched. - I've been touched.
Is it in here, my son?
Check it carefully, Father.
When I found you half dead on the desert, why didn't I leave you?
'Cause you never double-cross a friend.
It 's all there.
Thanks be the God.
- Thanks be the Joe. - Just think of it.
The man before you was already far away...
free and clear...
when, like Paul on the road to Damascus...
he was struck by God's Heavenly light.
Burnt with remorse, he returned...
his heart heavy with despair for his vicious, misspent life...
in sin and shame.
- Who's he talking about? - You.
Me? Why...
But his noble gesture would have remained unknown...
had it not been for the testimony of this gold Christian soul.
Father, I only did my duty as a faithful son of the church.
- Son of a bitch. - But when the prodigal returns...
there's a rejoicing in the Heavens above.
Glory,glory,glory
On our knees we're bendlng
Now the wrong prodlgal
Turns to the rlghteous way
Glory,glory,glory
Praylng forthelr blesslng
All hearts In repentance
Bless be the Chrlst today
Glory,glory,glory
Stop singing! This is an honest house!
- Thank you. - We don't make fun of the church.
Joe!
- Where the hell is he taking us? - Keep counting!
Where was I? At 315, 32O...
US$ 325 in charity!
That old hag offered two hundred, you know.
You see, Bill? Honesty is the best policy.
You're rich and you've been kissed by a priest.
Disgusting!
Why do you always have to act worse than you already are?
Yeah, sure. Twinkle Toes here never pukes, does he?
Yeah, he does. He doesn't do it in his hat.
He knows enough to do what he has to do where the decent folks do it.
In the privy.
That 's where you're wrong, Lucy.
If you spent less time walking the streets like a gipsy...
and more time sitting with decent folk on the privy...
you'd have met Joe before you've met me.
Hey, I've been dreaming a weird kind of dream.
A ray of the rising sun touches the tops of the highest mountains...
so they seem to be bathed in blood.
The peaks throw long shadows down into the boundless valley.
And in the clear blue sky, a hawk glides...
wide and easy.
- A whistling wind? - No.
The wings clipping the air.
What 's that?
That 's horse's lopes.
And now...
from behind the rocks, appears the figure of a man on a white horse.
He's the ancient ruler of these lands.
The shadow of a dead king reaches out for a fleeing man.
His silhouette is dark against the red circle of the sun...
ringed with the halo of eagle-feathers like...
...rays of light. - Oh, yeah?
It 's your old man. And he's looking for you.
My old man never had feathers. I'm a white man.
I got a sunburn face, but you can always tell a white man...
by the color of his ass. Look!
What 's wrong with being an Indian?
So your father's got feathers and your mother was white.
So what? Black, white, red, what difference does it make?
- We are somebody's children. - I am the child of a white woman.
She was so white the other girls on the whorehouse called her the ghost.
I'm not bragging, I'm just getting the facts straight.
And what I've told you is all I know.
I'm a lone wolf. I don't run with the pack.
And do you know why they call me Steam Engine?
'Cause I got fed up, I jumped the train and ditched the whole crowd.
That 's right, ditched the whole tribe.
"Man who gallops on fire horses."
You got it far enough. Come on!
Yeah, and you reached the end of the road, Steam Engine.
- You crazy? You're gonna fight? - Not me.
We're in the end of the track!
- What 's happening? - Jump! Jump!
Bill!
Bill, you all right? Did you get hurt?
Yeah, yeah, I'm alright, I'm alright, Lucy. I...
Hey, who ever planned this railway end here?
Maybe they're gonna build a bridge across the valley with a big town.
I remember this place when it was nothing.
Is this where the railway stop?
This here is the end of the Western Railroad Company.
- That 's right. - Sure it is.
Those are the tracks we got left. And where's the Pacific, huh?
- Answer me that. - He's right. Where is it?
Listen to what I'm gonna tell you.
There's no future for railroads in this country.
- And now where are you going? - We're looking for a new job.
The company left us high and dry and we're going out of here right now.
Joe, Bill, come on, there's still some hot coffee.
Here, Joe.
Come on, Bill.
Hey, take it easy, Bill. Don't go get yourself plastered.
I don't get plastered. I just get happy.
Oh, come on, you call that happy?
Indians are gloomy by nature.
Hang on to yourself, Bill.
The son of a chief shouldn't fly off the hand like that.
Oh, yeah? If I had a hand full of men...
men that really knew where their balls are...
I'd screw this whole goddamned country.
Loneliness. That 's what it is.
The loneliness of genius.
Thousands dollars.
How much is that again?
That 's the amount that the Major kept...
instead of turning over the Indian Agency.
What do I have to do?
- You've been in the army? - That 's right. Like all white men.
What rank?
Deserter.
- How do you like to be a Colonel? - That could be nice for a change.
What do you say, Lucy?
I say, where you're gonna get the uniform?
The uniform is on its way, but you also are gonna need whiskers.
Whiskers?
Like this?
The Colonel you're standing in for has a set, only his is real.
Then I grow my own. Just give me time.
I could give you all the time you want, you still wouldn't have whiskers.
They don't grow on Indians.
On me, they do, because I'm not an Indian!
What is it?
Someone is coming. A wagon or a stage...
I was just showing you what the stupid redskins do to hear sounds.
They still do.
We have the telegraph and they throw themselves on the ground.
- Coming this way? - Who? How do I know?
You believe you can put your ear to the ground and hear a stagecoach?
- With an escort? - No, but it 's been followed.
- How many riders? - Four.
- Indians? - No, the horses are shot.
There's gunfight, Joe, they're shooting.
Yeah, I know.
How the Christ can you know if you don't put your ear to the ground?
Tell me that. How the hell can you know?
They are shooting at the Colonel with the red beard.
You see? When you're not an Indian, you've got to run.
Where are you? There's the coach and there's the idiot.
But where are the four riders?
Here we are, Steam Engine.
Mortimer.
What do you do with the beads on?
It 's the fashion, Bill.
But what ain't never the fashion is witnesses.
Throw down your gun.
I'm sorry, Bill. You shouldn't have seen what you just saw.
Why? What did I just see?
You saw the Colonel.
You saw us, made up in beads.
Oh, you got beads on, huh?
I swear to God I never even noticed it.
In any case, you noticed us, didn't you?
Me? No! No!
- Then, who you're talking to? - Myself.
I always talk to myself.
You know how prairie folk are like.
I talk and I listen.
Hoping that someone, somewhere...
will hear and answer me!
For the God's sake, Mortimer.
For the sake of the old days when we were together, side by side.
Remember?
Mortimer...
Jelly Roll would hate you for even thinking in such an idea.
Why don't you answer me?
- Let 's cut it short. - No!
This is joke. No.
Stop! Don't shoot.
- He's my brother. - Well, Steam Engine...
where did you get a hold of a sister like her?
Come on, let 's have a better look.
Be a good girl. Ring up the curtains.
If you wanna save your brother's life and make us all happy...
you're gonna have to split yourself into four.
Stop!
Don't you lay a hand on my girl!
Christ, how many are you back there?
Leave out the woman and the unarmed man, it 's just me.
But I split myself into four, if that will make you all happy.
Cool off, buster. We're only meant to have a little fun with your girl.
Why not, Joe?
Why don't have a little fun? Let 's all have a little fun.
What 's wrong with that?
Why take changes, darling?
There are too many of them.
Throw down your gun.
Throw it down, darling.
- Damn it, I missed! - Yeah, naturally, he moved.
What do you mean, naturally?
You learnt to shoot in a circus. You can't hit but a sitting target.
Yeah, throw it away. You're better off with a bow and arrow.
I was so scared!
You know, Lucy, keep it up and I will name my price.
Name it!
- Oh, Bill! - How come?
How come you go calling him "darling" and me "brother"?
The true fact is I can't make up my mind with it.
I don't know each one of you I love most.
I told you, but you had to have your own way.
I'm gonna die!
Well, we're sorry as we can be.
- Yeah, it 's real! - Please...
don't let me die like this not knowing...
- What, Colonel? - Why do you all keep...
pulling my beard?
Too bad. I didn't have time to tell him.
And in a little while, Major Cabot will know the Colonel is dead.
- That 's ground one. - Yeah.
Oh, he's beginning to get the hand of it.
Jesus, he's moving.
He's not heading for Cabot.
He's going to Jelly Roll.
What 's this Jelly Roll like?
Believes in an eye for an eye.
Well, we didn't get all of them, did we? One got away.
Yeah, but three of them are dead.
So? Everything depends on how you tell it.
He did it. He killed the three of them, shot right between the eyes.
But he threw me the gun, Jelly Roll. I'd never let myself shoot your men.
Hey, keep moving, come on!
Yeah, and you call their attention with your creamy tights.
I didn't force them to look, did I?
Too bad you can't hit a moving target. Poor Steam Engine.
That 's right, but I was wise to it.
And I got out of the way.
- You see? - I can hit six out of six!
But you didn't know that Mortimer was...
wise to it.
No, I didn't. Where did you go to?
To my right.
That 's what you should have done. It 's easy to hit a moving target.
Okay, now there's only four of us to know the Colonel is dead.
It 's a pleasure to do business with a man who catches on so fast.
What are we gonna do with Mortimer?
Bury him in a Mexican cemetery. Your friend's a wise guy, huh?
- You can trust him, he's with me. - Looks to me like you're with him.
Now let 's see if we can raise the Colonel from the dead.
Steam Engine, we are not ordinary people.
We are not ordinary people, Major Cabot. We're Americans.
The Western Prairies must be firmly anchored to our great country...
if we're gonna realize our lovably ideals. How's that?
That would do. Now the beard.
Jesus!
Well?
Well, well. With the proper...
trousers and boots...
shoulders...
a little spit and polish here and there...
- Well, what do you think? - I think he's fine.
So do I.
Then there's no doubt about it. They will shoot you.
Say it again, Bill, keep saying it.
We are not ordinary people, Major Cabot. We're Americans.
I know you know that. You've been saying it over. The instructions.
God damn it, I'm fed up to the teeth with this clowning.
You get to the fort, you pass yourself off as Pembroke...
and confiscate the US$ 3OO, OOO. Then what?
Then what? Then if they haven't me strangled up, I head due East...
as fast as a jack rabbit to where you're gonna meet.
If Cabot gives me an escort, you're gonna stop the coach...
shove the gun into my Adam's apple, and say, "Don't move or I shoot!"
- Go on. - But if there's no escort...
you don't shove anything at me, we beat the hell out there...
and live happily forever after on a beach on the Sandwich Islands.
- That 's fine. - Perfect. What are you sour about?
That would do, Michelangelo.
What am I so sour about? Look at him!
You think, for a minute, he's gonna pass for a cavalry man?
And you think, for a minute, you're gonna pass for a Colonel?
That 's what I'm saying!
They won't even let us into the fort. They'll eat us alive!
Too bad for them. Let 's go.
A wagon without driver.
Who the hell are you talking to? Me?
A Colonel in the United States army?
Keep on croaking. Can't understand a word you're saying.
If what you're saying is words.
Well, before it withers, you know what you can do with that.
Hey! Let 's have a little respect here.
This is the man who sees beyond the mountains.
And I'm the man who sees right in front of his nose.
And if an old redskin can see it too, I'm screwed!
- What the hell was that? - The Western Railroad Company.
Back on its relentless march to the sea. Bill, that 's where I get off.
Good luck, Colonel Pembroke.
I'm afraid that plan is too big for that old Indian.
Hey, Joe. Give old coachman a hand, will you?
Attention!
Colonel.
Welcome to Fort Cristobal, Colonel. I'm Major Cabot.
- We are not ordinary people, Major. - Later, daddy.
And this young lady, I presume, is Miss Pembroke?
Yes, presumably, she's my daughter.
"Full many a flower is born to blush unseen and waste...
its sweetness on the desert air."
Should we go inside?
Major, who did you build the gallows for?
Oh, that Indian, sir.
A horse thief. Follow me.
This way.
I had the very best quarters in the fort prepared especially for you.
I'm genuinely astonished, Major Cabot, because frankly...
I've never expected to meet up with... with such a polished gentleman...
...in this neck of the woods. - Compliments on the set-up, Major.
My dear, beneath these rough uniforms, there's a heart of the purest gold.
Take Sergeant Milton, for instance.
He looks like a bear, but he's a child who's grown too fast. In here.
As for the rest of us, we're just ordinary people.
We are not ordinary people, Major Cabot. We're Americans.
Colonel, would you care for a cigar?
I think it 's a flavor you might enjoy.
The Western Prairies...
Oh, yes, indeed.
Daddy, you're smoking?
Of course I'm smoking. As I was saying...
the Western Prairies must be firmly anchored...
And if that 's too firmly anchored, you're gonna burn to death.
- Why don't you take it off? - Sergeant.
There you are. The best quarters prepared specially...
for you, extraordinary people.
"And waste its sweetness on the desert air."
I'm gonna waste your sweetness, little girl.
Just you wait. Let 's go, Sergeant.
It 's all over, Bill, they got you by the short hairs.
- You son of a bitch! - What do you mean?
You and me planned for you dress up like a Colonel. Go ahead and do it.
Bill, what the hell is the matter with you?
Why did you trust me all the sudden?
Poor Bill, baby. That takes all the fun out of it.
Now, we just have the third member of this group to think about.
We've got to think hard, because he's the sly one.
- How did Jelly say he calls himself? - Joe Thanks.
- What? - Joe Thanks.
The names these people have!
Well, you better send some of your men after him.
Where, sir? Jelly Roll says you can't get your hands on him.
He's here, he's there...
He's in front of you, in back of you. Slippy as an eel...
Where are we gonna look?
Well, that 's your own problem, my boy. Just get him, would you?
Yes, sir.
I want him in my office immediately.
What are you doing here?
Who are you?
What do you want?
An egg.
An egg small as this. A pale green egg speckled with dark brown like...
You recall the color of buffalo shit, Major?
A baby buzzard with a hook beak.
He sticks out his pink green neck, then his bare big toe.
Majestic mamma buzzard, like any lovely kid's mother...
swoops down from Heavens with a nice fat piece of carrion.
Young man, I know that the desert sun sometimes affects the brain...
High above...
papa buzzard, his wing steady in the sunlight...
watches over his baby, and nothing will disturb the little one...
while he munches the tender rotten meat.
All of a sudden... boom!
A thunder shakes the mountain, the rocks are burst by the blast!
And the dust of death rises up, up, up into the sky.
Papa buzzard weeps in the Heavens.
Weeps for his murdered maid, weeps for his murdered baby.
Make them stop before they kill every living thing!
Who?
They're here with their dynamite, they blowing up the mountains...
they drill holes and then... boom!
All dead! Papas, mammas, the helpless little ones.
What 's worse. It 'd make hard for a fellow to relax.
I sleep in a cave in the Red Rock. You've got to tell them to stop, Major.
- Get out of here. - My mistake.
They told me in town you're interested in protecting buzzards.
But I am. I am.
I feed them the flesh of people who come in my office...
and bother me for their own amusement.
Now get out of here!
Stop!
Just a minute.
Did you talk to anyone else about...
Did you mention your admirable concern for the buzzard...
...to anyone else before to see me? - No, no, I came straight here.
You did the right thing, my boy.
Guard!
This Cabot runs a lousy prison. Not a match in the place.
He's out to break me with slow torture.
He said he'll waste my sweetness in the desert air.
This will learn you to listen to that baby-blue-eyed wise guy.
What 's Joe got to do with us being here?
Jelly Roll is the one who double-crossed us, not Joe.
You've got a noose surround your neck and still you stand up for him.
Answer me.
No! I'm only standing up for him because he's a friend of mine.
- A friend I can count on. - lf you're still counting on him...
I mean, to name his price, forget it! Because it 's too late.
Say what you will. The only thing I regret...
in my whole life, is Joe.
Me too.
Three hundred thousand dollars!
He's the one who has everything worked out.
Never makes a slip. A genius!
Do you know what I'd do to him if I had him right now?
I'd tear off his head and eat like this.
Go right ahead. Just don't your dentures.
Oh, Joe!
- Joe! Joe! - Lucy!
I knew he would get us out of here.
Sure. Am I making a mistake or you also are a guess to the management?
You couldn't be more right.
Oh, that gladdens my heart, I can't tell you.
This situation's beginning to be a pleasure.
They're gonna strange us up in the morning.
Now at least we're gonna swing together.
- Are we, Joe? - Indians are always pessimistic.
Can't you see the whole thing is working out just the way we planned?
Oh, is it?
What 's happening? Where are you going?
They can't persuade us to go forward with this goddamned railroad.
- So you can save your pray. - We're not going forward.
- We're going back. We're through. - Do we have to blow up a mountain...
just to get to the goddamned Pacific Ocean? It 's full of stones.
Hard as never they are. I've never seen anything like it.
Milton, this is sedimentary rock.
The men worked here. They didn't see what was before their eyes.
This is quartz. Pure quartz.
Just scratch it and we'll have an avalanche of nuggets.
Touch a pick at it, and we'll have pure gold.
The same as I have found on that chair, had it tested.
Pure gold.
Gold.
I've been said there was gold up here in 5O years, but nobody...
nobody believed me.
Seems like we lost our horses.
You are a linguistic, Sergeant. It 's all yours.
- I'll try. - Don't overdo it.
Tell him that I'll trade land with plenty of water and buffalos...
in exchange for this useless piece of sand and rock.
And to show him that I mean business, I'll even sign a treaty.
- What did he say? - He says he'll only deal...
with the Colonel who just came to the fort...
and not with a son of a bitch like you.
- That screws us. - That depends.
Ask him if he ever met the Colonel.
He says he's never met him, he knows him only by reputation.
In that case, tell him the...
Colonel will be delighted to shake his hand and strike a bargain.
But Colonel Pembroke...
Is enjoying the hospitality of Fort Cristobal.
You're only hanging the two of us?
Get going.
Come on.
This way.
I think he's fine.
Just fine.
This way, Colonel.
Get moving, on a double.
Come on.
Colonel Pembroke, sir, my fellow officers and I...
hope that you accept the simple hospitality of Fort Cristobal.
Miss Pembroke, you come to us like a delicate flower.
- How charming of you. - Not at all, Miss Pembroke.
I hope you won't pick my petals.
Precious petals must be plucked, not picked.
Have I the honor of your company in the table?
Do you remember that occasion when we were surrounded by Indians...
in the Black Mountains? Just imagine it.
A bedraggled squad of cavalry trapped in the hilltop and circled by a...
band of Indians.
I was just a mere Lieutenant at the time, and you, Colonel...
were you a major or a captain?
I was a General.
I've never seen such a real amusing man like your father.
Yes, me neither.
Realizing that there was no way out, the Colonel said to me, "Dismount.
Let us make a stand, Lieutenant. We should die together."
- It was a massacre. - Oh, you mean, they got us.
- I'll get you. Do better than this. - What am I supposed to do anyhow?
Tomorrow you're gonna have a little talk with an old Indian.
- Is it about the 3OO, OOO? - Trifles!
- What trifles are those? - Your father was just asking me...
why I wasn't decorated for the deeds that I did that day, and...
as I said to him...
the joy of serving my country has been satisfaction enough.
We are not ordinary people.
We're Americans.
Shit!
No fun playing with yourself, is it?
I need a queen, I got a jack.
That 's easy, just turn it into a queen.
You're acting crazy or you were born that way?
Let me see it.
- What? - Let me see it.
Jack...
queen.
See? It 's easy.
If I could that in a poker game...
You could do better than that in a poker game. Watch this.
Now...
one... two... three.
Kid's stuff.
Let me try.
Here.
I understand. The trick is to open the cards.
The trick is to get the door open.
There it is, yeah! Gee, you've got bad cavities.
Shut your mouth or I'll fill them for one year.
I can shoot you up and open this lock with one shot. The keys.
Come on!
Halt!
Left face!
Attention!
- Where do you come from? - El Paso.
- Don't we know each other? - No, sir.
I don't think we came from the same part of the country.
- I come from a different place. - What kind of place is that?
A place where men are men, sir.
I'll teach all of you what a real man is.
That 's my job here.
Now, I'm gonna hit this fellow, and he's gonna smile and say...
"I didn't feel a thing because I'm a soldier of the 5th Cavalry."
- Now, I'll have a try. - This is your wish, sir?
- Did it hurt? - No, sir.
- Why not? - I'm a soldier of 5th Cavalry.
- Did it hurt? - No, sir.
- Why not? - I'm a soldier of 5th Cavalry.
- Did it hurt? - No, sir.
- Why not? - Because that wasn't my foot.
It was his.
Silence!
Left... face!
To the ammunition store, forward...
march!
Hey, you! Stop!
Stop them! I know him!
He's crazy!
Grab him!
That guy insulted our Major.
- Come down here. - No, I wanna be free!
Listen...
...come down here. - I'm afraid you're gonna beat me!
No, I wanna be free! I don't care about the 5th Cavalry!
Saw down that pole!
Sergeant, what are you doing?
No, stop them. Make them stop, Sergeant. Make them stop, Serg.
- Sergeant! Sergeant, stop them! - Are you gonna come down, man?
Yes, sir.
No, no. No, Sergeant. I wanna be free like a buzzard.
- I wanna be free! - He's crazy! Saw it down!
Make them stop, Sergeant! That 's dangerous!
I wanna live! I wanna live!
No, no, no, no!
All right, you guys. Get him out of that wagon.
Open wide!
And now...
now, it 's solitary confinement for you.
You, bring me the keys.
- Back inside? - Sir.
Give them a hand.
Come on!
Look the sun, Sergeant.
Bye, bye!
Hurry up, shoot him down!
Hey, look, there they are! Come on now!
Shut the doors!
Stop, you fool.
That cannon is loaded.
Don't shoot, stupid!
Don't you see the cannon is pointed at the ammunition wagon?
- What do you want? - I'm sorry, I forgot my hat.
If you don't mind, Sergeant.
I'm afraid I have a very bad habit.
Pass the hat, Sergeant. Pass it around. Come on!
Whatever you can afford, boys. Just put it in the hat.
Come on.
- Come on, men. - Thanks.
Hurry up, Sergeant. Go on.
Hey, you!
My gun.
Take it to him.
- Give, men. - Thanks.
Hurry up. Not too tight, huh?
Thanks.
Thank you.
You're doing fine, Sergeant.
Your turn now.
Thanks.
Careful with that cigar.
Don't forget, you're a soldier of the 5th Cavalry.
Take over, Major.
Those stupid Indians are falling for our plot.
Sergeant, with the U.S. Cavalry, two horses, one cannon...
and you let that madman get away, who's stupid?
Colonel, I think we should take positions.
Now remember, don't try anything, or I'll send Sergeant Milton...
back to the Fort, and he'll do awful things to your charming daughter.
Yeah, you told me.
Right. Come on. Look at me. All you have to do is sign in.
It would be easier if I had to kill 2O of your men with my left hand.
I can't write.
- Is this the Indian? - Right.
But this old man knows me very well.
I'm telling you. That old man knows me since I was a kid.
But you're a grown-up now, and you've got a beard.
Yeah, but he's the man who sees beyond the mountains.
He probably already recognizes...
- The chief said that he... - I heard him. I'm not deaf.
- You can understand him? How? - I'm a lip-reader.
- The chief says... - I heard him. I'm not deaf.
I heard too. I'm not deaf either. What did he say?
The chief says he's willing to sign as long as Colonel Pembroke here...
...to witness. - Okay.
I'll watch you sign.
Let 's get on with it.
- Everything's all set here? - Yes, Major, already.
- You just need to sign. - Right.
What does he want? An extra bonus? A bottle of whisky or something?
- You better tell him, Sergeant. - No, you better tell him, Colonel.
Well, the chief is very satisfied with the treaty, but...
he wants to know why you're giving him all this nice hunting ground...
full of water and buffalo...
for a hole in a rock full with nothing but fool's gold.
Fool's gold?
Sure, it 's gold, but what a hell, anybody can buy a little gold dust.
And that Joe Thanks, he's the other partner...
the one you sent the boys looking for...
when all the time you had him locked up in the next room.
- I just can't figure out why he did it. - I'll tell you why.
He was in cahoots with that Indian, trying to cheat me out of that land.
And I modestly say he succeeded. But to do so, he had to use you.
And forced me to present you in public as Colonel Pembroke.
Those 3OO, OOO greenies were only an excuse to get you working for him.
All he wanted to do was get the land back to the Indians.
Indians! You're right! That fellow's got a thing about Indians!
Hear what they're saying? He was in cahoots with that decrepit redskin.
That 's why he got me in this mess. He wanted to screw me.
- And now, you're gonna screw him. - Yeah...
...but how? - Major? Joe may have screwed...
done us wrong. But Bill will never double-cross a friend.
- He prefers a hanging? - Bill has Indian blood.
And Indians never double-cross anyone.
Not even people who double-crossed them.
Indians no. But me, yes. I'd double-cross anyone.
You, my mom, my pa, my grandfather!
Don't you let them drag you down!
If Joe did what he did, he must have had some good reason.
I've got a thousand reasons just too good to give him back!
Genius!
I'll show to that son of a bitch!
Now you're talking like I like to hear.
When do you want me to betray, Major?
Well, we're gonna split the US$ 3OO, OOO, are we not?
All we have to do is to follow your friend's plan to the letter...
with one tiny variation.
Colonel Pembroke, sir. I hereby consign to you US$ 3OO, OOO...
to be returned to the United States government.
Colonel, may I have your signature, please?
Now it 's the time to make your mark.
- Captain. - Major.
- Is the escort assembled? - Yes.
- Assembled and waiting your orders. - And the coach and the ammunition.
Thank you. Thank you, Lieutenant.
Escort!
Attention!
Would you grant me the privilege of escorting you as far as Albuquerque?
- And if I don't? - That 's very kind of you, sir.
May I assist you? Thank you.
Here's the variation that I told you about.
When our friend holds out the coach...
he's not gonna get the money.
Oh, excuse me, my dear, would you mind...
showing the little surprise to your papa?
He is going to... get this.
I'd like to see Joe's face. I'd really like to see his face.
Oh, yes, you'll see it, because you'll be there when he opens it.
Hold!
Stop! Stop!
Good ol' Jelly Roll's stepping in wood.
Stop!
Stop! They wanna kill...
Colonel Pembroke!
They wanna kill Colonel Pembroke!
Hey, didn't you see a man in black on a black horse?
No.
I see a man in white on a white horse.
- But it comes to the same. - It 's Joe!
They wanna kill Colonel Pembroke!
They wanna Colonel Pembroke's life.
Who? Who? Who wants to kill me?
I do.
Major, order your men to drop their guns over there.
He's an assassin! Do what he says!
Out of the way.
I'll give that order.
Our Colonel's life is at stake. Do what this man says.
Escort, throw out your guns over there!
Escort, follow me!
Now, you mind having me that box of money?
Major, as your superior, I order you to give him that box.
Very well, Colonel.
Excuse me.
Thanks.
You're the most pretty daughter of an army officer I've ever seen.
Thank you. But please, don't hurt my father.
Very well, then. I take you as a hostage instead.
Come on, Major.
I think you're a little confused. I'm only a major.
He's a... he's a Colonel.
We've got a long trip. Move.
So long, Colonel. Miss.
Hurry up! Save the Major! Let 's get moving!
Hurry up! Everybody's in his way! Come on!
And if you can't save Major Cabot...
at least save the money!
What am I supposed to do now, Colonel?
- Just stay put and guard the pass. - Yes, sir, Colonel!
Now you realize who the real genius of the situation turns out to be.
Surprise?
Your partner double-crossed you.
He and I planned this together.
And he has Jelly Roll and his boys to settle the accounts.
- The money! Where's the money? - It 's quite safe.
- On the stagecoach. - Save? With Steam Engine?
Don't shoot! It 's Major Cabot!
He's gaining!
Come on!
I'm gonna reap his guts!
- I don't see him any longer. - We made it.
- Are you hurt? - No, he hit the shaft.
Give me the chest. The chest!
- What are you gonna do? - Getting off this merry-go-round...
and putting the money where it 's safe.
See you in St Louis, Missouri, honey.
Joe!
Faster!
Hey, you've got just what I want.
Now.
- Stop her! - Hold on a minute!
Please!
- Now. - Let me go!
Let me go, I tell you!
Stop! Let go, let go!
Blast!
Don't go over there! There's gonna be an explosion!
Stop it! Stop!
There's two men down there!
- Grab her! - Please!
US$ 3OO, OOO gone up in smoke!
- Come on, you fool! - What the hell are you...
Joe! Bill!
Lucy!
- Bill, are you okay? - No.
What 's the matter? You hurt?
- Yes. - Where?
Here. There's something I wanna know and I wanna know right now.
- What the hell is going on? - The thing worked out as we planned.
Hey, is this the pay office?
Sure, this is it. Get in line, boys.
- Come on, boys. - There's something for everybody.
- Come on. - Hey, mister...
I wanna thank you for giving us the job of blasting the hole...
through that rock.
- I hope it suited you. - It 's a very good job.
- Thanks. - It almost led us to death though.
Beautiful piece of work, Joe. Really beautiful.
Don't thank me. The credit goes to my partner. Thanks, boys.
Thanks.
- This is it. Thanks. - Thank you.
Here you are, Jelly Roll.
Thanks. Good job.
Good job. Thanks.
Thank you.
So I've been crossed, but not double-crossed.
That 's about it.
There are times in life...
when you think money is the most important thing that there is.
But once you get it, maybe you wish you didn't have it.
- Where are you going with the money? - Hush now.
Remember? A ray of the dying sun touches the tops of the mountains...
that seem bathed in blood...
and then the peaks throw shadows down to the bottom of the valley.
And in the blue sky, a hawk glides wide and easy.
- Wings clipping the air? - Yeah.
Not that horse again.
Here's the money, grandpa.
Why the hell are they all dressed up like this?
Ain't that the way you wanted them?
- Goodbye, Joe. - Why? Where are we going?
Now you know why I'm going with him.
We're gonna screw America.
Bringing grandpa too?
He stays. He represents the past.
The son of a bitch had it all figured out.
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